The Line Between Persistent and Creepy

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A problem for guys when pursuing girls is striking a balance between persistent and creepy — it’s hard for some guys to know what is viewed as confident and bold and just downright creepy!  I’ve joked about creepiness here before, but it is a real problem that can affect the way guys comes across to girls, often without even realizing it!  Below, some moves that would definitely fall under the creeper category and why you should avoid them!

1) Getting a girl’s number from someone other than her and persistently calling/texting even when she doesn’t respond.  Being proactive and getting a girl’s number (from someone other than her) is okay, as long as you don’t continuously reach out even when she’s clearly not responding.  For instance, if you call and leave a voicemail and she doesn’t respond after a few days, leave it.  One more follow-up call a week or two later is the most you should do after that – since she didn’t give you her number yourself, anything beyond that encroaches on “creeper” territory.

2) “Cornering” her into a response.  No matter how you may have gotten a girl’s number/email/Facebook, if she didn’t respond to any of your first three messages, she probably won’t respond to the next three, either; trying to entrap or “corner” her into a response does not make you look any more attractive.  In fact, it just reeks of desperation and “creepy stalker” and she’ll be even more turned off.

What do I mean by this, you ask?  For example, if she hasn’t been responding to any of your texts and then you see her being active on Facebook/Twitter and know she is probably intentionally ignoring your texts, sending her a message on there so that she can’t ignore you to force her into responding will just come across as very creepy.  Stop after 2, maybe 3 tries max; if she’s interested, you won’t have to try too many times to get a response!

3) Touching her inappropriately when flirting when she hasn’t shown any signs of interest. Nothing screams creeper faster than touching a woman in an inappropriate, sexual way when she hasn’t shown any signs of interest. This would include (but is not limited to) touching her in any ways that would creep you out to do to family members – if it feels inappropriate, it probably is!  Build rapport first with flirty banter, then escalate to more flirtatious touching (back rubbing, stroking her arm, touching the small of her back, etc.) to not come across as creepy.

4) Being possessive and territorial when you aren’t even dating her. Although acting possessive and aggressive towards other guys who may be interested in someone you’re dating isn’t ever recommended, acting that way when you’re not even dating her is even worse.  Don’t be the creepy guy they whisper about and back off the caveman act, at least until you’re dating her (kidding!) and keep your cool around other potential suitors by not acting threatened.

5) Getting angry and acting like she “owes” you for nice behavior or favors. This is what I also like to call “entrapment” — it’s when you do nice things for a girl you like and then get angry when she doesn’t “repay” you by spending time with you or behaving how you want her to.  Some guys do this without even realizing it and believe me when I say that it is a major turn-off. If you do something nice for a girl, do it because you want to and don’t expect anything in return, not because you want her to “repay” you later on.

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