Why Group Dates Are a Bad Idea

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With the rules of dating changing every day, it can be difficult sometimes to figure out what’s a dating faux pas and what’s perfectly acceptable.  As much as the rules change, though, some things remain the same, such as not calling or texting someone right after a date, no kissing and telling, and no group dates for a first date!  Some people believe that group dates are an easy way to get to know someone without the anxiety a one-on-one date can bring. Group dates are a great idea once you’re already in a relationship with someone or have been dating for awhile; by asking someone you’re digging on a group date as your first date, however, you may actually be doing more harm than good.  Below, all the reasons why you should say no to group dates for your first few dates!

1) No chance for real intimacy. This is an obvious one here. In a group setting with others around, it’s hard to have real intimacy and really get to know your date. The chance of getting lost in the crowd is greater, or worse yet, your date could think you’re just wanting to be friends and, worst-case scenario, could set their sights on someone else in the group!  Don’t take the chance for misunderstandings like these, and make your first date a solo one.  (Plus, how much PDA could you really have while surrounded by friends?)

2) You seem as if you’re afraid to ask them out on a “real” date. This is one of the worst things about asking someone on a group date for your first date, and that is that they may think you’re too afraid to ask them out on an actual date, so therefore are going the group date route. Group dates are an easy way to avoid rejection, since if the person says no, you can always rationalize that they didn’t want to hang out with the group as a whole, or that they didn’t like the activity the group was doing, as opposed to not wanting to spend time with you.  While all that may be true, it also means the flip-side is true, that if they agree, they may just be going to meet new friends, or because they enjoy the activity you’re inviting them on, so you’re back at square one.  Avoid the “if’s, and’s, and but’s” that accompany a group date and just ask the object of your desire out on a real date!

3) They’ll think you’re afraid of boring them (on your own). This goes hand-in-hand with #2 above, and that is that the person you’re interested in may think you’re afraid of boring them if you go on a one-on-one date, so therefore are wanting a group date instead. “It’s ok if I don’t have much of a personality, because my friends can hide that!”  That’s exactly what your date will be thinking you are thinking, and how attractive would that seem?  If you’re interested, don’t be a wuss — ask them out on a solo, one-on-one date and avoid any misunderstandings.

4) You seem as if you’re trying to hide within a crowd. Asking someone on a group date could make them think you’re trying to hide within a crowd or behind friends. Group dates are noncommittal — you don’t have to “try” as hard since there’s so much going on, and your date knows this.  Even if they say yes, you won’t have a chance to really impress them and get their attention because of all the background noise on a group date.  The majority of people won’t be impressed by this lack of cojones (unless they really are just looking for a friend), so avoid seeming cowardly and ask them out on a solo date!

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