How to Make Yourself More Approachable With Men

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Ever wonder how some girls seem to always have guys approaching left and right, seemingly without even trying?  All the while, you’re decked out in your finest looking hotter than ever, and are having the hardest time meeting a single decent guy?  It isn’t just looks that will get a man’s attention and get him to approach you, but many other factors as well, all of which are within your control.  Below, some tips on how to make yourself more approachable with men!

1) Body language.  Have approachable body language.  For instance, don’t stand with your arms crossed, sulked in the corner, acting like you’d rather be anywhere but there. Have a relaxed pose, chest out and shoulders back, and smile.  Also, mingle where the action is.  For instance, if everyone is near the refreshments area in the living room at a party, you probably won’t have too many guys approaching by hanging out in the deserted kitchen.

2) Make eye contact.  You’re at a party and notice a cute guy across the room.  You want to catch his eye and get him to approach you, but aren’t sure what you to do.  To get him to notice you, catch his gaze, hold it for two seconds, look away, and then look back again.  If he’s interested, he’ll know this is his signal to approach and soon make his way over.

3) Don’t huddle in a closed-off group.  This is one of the quickest ways to deter guys from approaching, and many girls do it without even realizing it!  You know what I’m talking about.  You go to a club with a group of your closest 5 girlfriends.  You all hit the dance floor at the same time, end up dancing in a circle, and, without even realizing it, manage to deter most guys from approaching.  The few that dare to come up behind and dirty dance with you (not necessarily the best way to do it, approaching a girl from behind, but if you have your backs to them, how else will they approach you??) usually get shot down instantly.

So, how do you break the cycle?  A quick way to counteract this unconscious group mentality is by changing your body language when you’re with your friends.  For instance, if you’re all on the dance floor, instead of dancing with everyone facing in and your backs to the rest of the people on the dance floor, change things up a bit.  Don’t dance in a circle, but dance in pairs, making it easier for guys to approach you on the dance floor.  When you’re near the bar or hanging out elsewhere off the dance floor, again, make sure not to huddle together with everyone’s backs out.  Break up the circle by turning your body outwards slightly, making it easier for a guy to approach you.  Go off to get drinks with just one other girlfriend occasionally.  If a guy has been wanting to approach you, this gives him the opportunity to.

4) Wear an interesting article of clothing/shoes that a guy can comment on. Something that guys can often have trouble with when approaching a girl is finding something to break the ice with.  If you’re wearing interesting shoes, an interesting article of clothing, or a unique piece of jewelry, it’ll make it that much easier for him to approach you. Try something colorful and eye-catching that others may not be wearing, and, if you’re feeling adventurous, maybe even something daring (like heelless shoes!).

5) Look like you’re having fun. If you look like you’re having fun, guys will notice.  Dance, work the crowd.  Socialize and chat with people at the party.  Again, don’t just stand with your arms crossed in the corner, checking your watch every few minutes, or spend the whole night texting/surfing on your phone.  Have fun at whatever social event you’re at, and you’ll likely have more than a few admirers notice and come your way.


  1. Chris

    March 15, 2013

    This is a great article for woman trying to get a boyfriend.

    I think body language and being with a group of friends are some of the most important. Your body language can repel or attract the right guys, it doesn’t even take much effort to change your body language; smiles and laughing are some of the most powerful. Being with groups of friends can intimidate most men because they feel like they have to approach several woman instead of just one.

    Tip #4 is interesting. I believe some dating guru’s call this “pea-cocking”. It means wearing jewelry, clothing or accessories that make you stand out from the pack. It doesn’t have to be extravagant either.

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