How to Be Assertive Without Being A Douche

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It’s no secret that women are drawn to assertive, confident men.  How can a guy display assertiveness, though, without seeming douchey or pushy, especially in today’s politically correct society?  Below, how to be assertive without being a douche!

1) Be decisive.  I’ve said it here many times before and will say it again, and that is that women like men who know what they want.  No matter how successful or driven she is, the majority of women appreciate a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.  That said, the small day-to-day things you do can help display your assertiveness; you don’t need to make sweeping grand gestures in order to show this.

For instance, if you’re on a date with a woman and neither of you know where you want to eat at, take charge.  Make a decision on where to go; even if the restaurant turns out to have awful food or the night doesn’t turn out as planned, at least you made a decision instead of twiddling your thumbs and being indecisive, and most women will appreciate that.

2) Don’t be wishy-washy.  This is directly tied to #1 above, and that is to not be wishy-washy.  Wishy-washiness is the enemy of confidence and assertiveness; even if you haven’t made a decision, try not to deliberate aloud and go back and forth, giving the appearance of self-doubt.  When you make a choice, stick to it.  (What I’m referring to here is, of course, to every day decisions, like where to eat or what movie to watch – major life decisions will obviously require more time and thought.)

3) Don’t be afraid to express your opinion.  Be true to yourself and speak your mind.  Women like men who can think for themselves and aren’t afraid to say what they’re thinking, as opposed to just going along with everyone else.  Speak with conviction and show confidence in what you believe.

4) Think before you talk.  On the other hand, in relation to #3 above, you should also think before you talk.  This is easier said than done for some – some people say crazy, obnoxious things just for the sake of saying it, whether or not they actually believe what they’re saying.  You probably know someone like this – the guy who frequently bombs a conversation by throwing out the most outrageous thing he can think of, frequently with the sole purpose of “shocking” others or “enlightening” the “dull” masses, and most importantly, turning the attention to himself.  There’s a line between being opinionated and being crass/obnoxious, and crossing that line quickly places you into douche territory.  Like the saying goes, “A smart man knows the right thing to say; a wise man knows whether or not to say it.”



© 2009 – 2016 Love Wits


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